I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i believe in u and ur pee
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize