I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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