During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
