I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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