Yo dont text me then not text me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
