So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dignity is for republicans.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
