dude i'm inner monologue high
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
