I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
