I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
