they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
