So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize