I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
