Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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