I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize