He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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