stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A bitchslap is in order.
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