I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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