Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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