I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
