i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The feeling are messing with the penis
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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