Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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