i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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