Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
