My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize