Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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