Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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