why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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