Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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