Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The struggles of a small town man whore
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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