We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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