I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And then he peed in my hair
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