APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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