I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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