So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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