Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
