My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
