the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
