i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize