OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
