Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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