...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
