just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
