32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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