We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think my moral compass just broke
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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