Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
