I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
