Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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