who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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