What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
