So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
