I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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