im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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