Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
