spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
