i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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