Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
