This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
