ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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