well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
