No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
