i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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