Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
