Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
