38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who died my cat blue again?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
