doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
