so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
