I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
