Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
