You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
