dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
