It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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