then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
