were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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