Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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