Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
