I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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